In the communities found in TWWRTW there are different levels of expertise. These are judged by your work ethic, obedience to President Laura and how submissive you are in general. The levels are as follows: Novice, Learned, Experienced, Expert and Master.
To reach the rank of Master is to be one of the best, the elite. Females begin their career at the age of eighteen, at the rank of Novice. Ember begins at only sixteen, an incredible feat surpassed only by one other.
Looking back, the first few chapters are rough and I plan on going back and adding more chapters of her [Ember’s] time in the communities. Once completed, each chapter will be roughly 2,000 words. They’re short, but I want them to be that way.
This story will contain many Christian aspects and unpopular opinions. If any of these bother you, please don’t leave hateful comments and respect my opinions. I have no problem with people disagreeing with me, just don’t be rude about it.
Here is an excerpt from chapter one. This is a first draft, so there will no doubt be typos and/or plot holes. Feel free to point any out; it’d be appreciated.
Ember sighed as she put in the growth for yet another fetus. She had added the info from fifty-five and she still had twenty. Already she knew which they would keep.
Five were developing ahead of schedule and showed a higher IQ. This was a young age to know that. Unfortunately, two of those were male.
She stopped by a male’s incubator. He was the one who was behind. For some reason she had decided to try and speed his growth. Ember made sure that he got extra nutrients and even talked to him sometimes. She knew it was foolish and actually dangerous, but she couldn’t help herself. What is wrong with me? She wondered. All her life she had wanted to be a Caretaker. Aborting the weak was a part of that, but why was it so hard for her to accept it?
Lea, a fellow Novice, walked over. “Nearly done?” Ember nodded. “I just have twenty more to file.” Lea looked at her enviously. She had spent three years as a Novice and she should already have moved up. One more year stuck at Novice and she’d be sent to join the Labor community.
Ember was unconscious of her envy and continued her work, oblivious. She stopped by one of the top females. She was above average on all her development and showed signs of high intelligence.
She smiled at the fetus. It was hard not to. They stirred something in her. Something wonderful, but scary. She touched the incubator and gave a low gasp of delight when the fetus moved at her touch.
“Novice Ember.” She turned, feeling guilty. “Continue your work.” She nodded. “Of course Expert Ruth, my apologies.” She hurried through the rest of the fetus. Maybe a nice walk will clear my head. She grabbed her coat before stepping outside of the building.
The cool air greeted her and took a deep breath. What is wrong with me? Why do I have such affection for these fetus? They aren’t even born. It was a well known fact that some Caretakers grew attached to the children after birth. It was blamed on their maternal instincts not evolving enough. None had shown an attachment to an embryo.
At least we never knew of any. To think such thoughts was treason, so Ember shook her head with a little laugh. I must be working too hard. She walked to a nearby park for some peace and quiet.
The Government had decided that parks were a good way to keep the females rejuvenated. She had sat down on a bench, across from an older woman. The woman smiled at her, before turning back to the book in her hands.
“Hello.” Ember smiled at her. “I’m Novice Ember, a Caretaker.” The woman smiled back. “I’m Retired Master Elsa, a Caretaker.”
Ember stared in shock. This woman was a legend. She had joined the Medical Community at only fifteen, the youngest ever. She had also improved insemination, bringing the number of fetus’ up considerably. The Insemination department was one the most important in the whole country, and the most important Medical department.
“Are you just going to stare?” Elsa chuckled, causing Ember to blush. “My apologies. May I ask why you are reading a book?” Everyone read on their screens, if they read at all. Only a few in the Education department ever read actual books.
Elsa smiled warmly. “This isn’t just any book, dear. It’s the Bible.” Ember stared in horror. Her hero was reading the number one banned book in America.
oceanemcallister.com 